Gaslighting: When Reality Starts to Feel Uncertain

For many people, especially those in emotionally heavy relationships, reality doesn’t always feel set. Your emotions can feel uncertain and your confidence can slowly fade over time. This experience is called gaslighting and it’s more than a disagreement or misunderstanding. It’s psychological manipulation that makes someone doubt their perception of reality.

What Is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting occurs when someone repeatedly denies or minimizes your experiences and makes you question your memory or your feelings. Over some time, this can create confusion and self doubt. It often leads to questions like “Am I overreacting?” or “Did this really happen?” Gaslighting isn’t about one argument or one mistake. It is a pattern that disconnects someone from their reality. It shows up in relationships such as romantic, platonic, and family dynamics.

How Gaslighting Works

Gaslighting happens quietly through behaviors such as:

• Changing what happened in the past to place responsibility and blame onto you
• Acting confused or offended when you share hurt feelings
• Stating that your memory is wrong when it wasn’t
• Denying that events happened
• Minimizing your feelings
• Changing the subject when confronted about a lie

What Gaslighting Can Feel Like

Living with gaslighting can feel disorienting and isolating. It may show up as:

• Constantly second guessing yourself in every situation
• Apologizing when you don’t know what you did wrong
• Feeling anxious before speaking up in any situation
• Needing reassurance to make your own decisions
• Low self esteem

What Can Help

Here are some things that can help you heal:

• Seek outside perspective: Talking with trusted people or family can help with isolation
• Practice self validation: Your feelings don’t need permission to exist
• Create boundaries: It’s okay to create space between you and conversations that lead to self doubt
• Focus: Focus on actions, not words

How ShareWell Supports People Healing From Gaslighting

At ShareWell, we offer spaces where your experience is valid and believed without question. Our peer support groups provide something many people recovering from gaslighting deeply need, validation without judgement.

In our sessions, members share openly and listen with care. Being heard by others who truly listen and understand can help restore a sense of grounding and self trust. Because healing isn’t about arguing with the past.

At ShareWell, we believe reality doesn’t need to be defended. It deserves to be honored.

Want support from people who get it? Join an online support group today.