I hope to contribute and gain peer support

I recently realized to extent my PTSD had affected the trajectory of my life thus far. I wasn't upset by this realization: It felt like a huge relief, it felt like a missing piece of a puzzle had been found. My additional struggles with depression, anxiety and drug abuse subsequently led me to spend years cyclically doing well vs. falling further into whatever abyss I had placed myself (homelessness, rehabs, psychiatric wards, incredibly dysfunctional relationships, etc). What always remained the same, however, was the intense anger and fear I felt and that I blamed myself for it all. A few months ago, I had one of those moments where I just had to stop and ask myself: "how did my life get to this?" I realized it's because I spent my life believing I was an inherently worthless person as opposed to seeing I was a damaged person that had the power to control my life's direction. I realized the default state of being human wasn't walking around in a constant state of fight-or-flight so it finally made sense to me as to why other people didn't seem to struggle nearly as much with both every day and major life stressors. I realized that the fact I'm still alive (and mostly lucid) was a testament of my inner-strength and will to survive. But now, I want to do more than just survive. I want to flourish. With all that in mind, I knew I needed more help than just my medications and therapy could address alone and so I looked to the internet for online peer support groups.