Narcissism: When Relationship Dynamics Leave You Doubting Yourself
Narcissism is used often, and is especially found in conversations about difficult relationships. Sometimes it is used casually to describe someone who seems self-centered, and other times, it points to something much more complex and painful.
Having a partner who displays some narcissistic tendencies can be confusing. You can feel connected one minute and completely dismissed the next. You might doubt your memory, your reactions, and possibly your perception of reality. This can cause you to doubt your sense of self.
Narcissism can be found along a spectrum. At its core, it is the idea that a person has an inflated view of themselves, needs to be admired, and has trouble empathizing with other people. This can be found on a spectrum, with some people having Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
It is worth noting that while discussing this topic, it is vital to be aware that some people who display narcissistic tendencies are, in fact, very insecure and have very low self-esteem.
What Is Narcissism?
Narcissism refers to patterns of thinking and behaving that center heavily on the self, often at the expense of others.
It can include:
- A constant need for validation or praise
- Difficulty taking accountability
- Minimizing or dismissing other people’s feelings
- Becoming defensive or angry when criticized
- Viewing relationships in terms of control or status
In relationships, it can lead to idealization and devaluation. This means you can be put on a pedestal and then suddenly devalued or abandoned. This is not good for you.
What Affects Narcissistic Behavior?
There are a number of factors that might affect the development of narcissistic tendencies:
- Early attachment experiences: Conditional love.
- Shame and insecurity: Grandiosity as a defense mechanism.
- Reinforcement: A culture of dominance.
- Lack of emotional awareness: Difficulty recognizing or regulating emotions can limit empathy.
While the narcissistic individual does not intend to cause harm to others, the effect of the behavior on the individual can be considerable.
What It Looks Like in Everyday Life
Narcissistic dynamics often show up in subtle ways:
- Conversations that always circle back to them
- Feeling unseen or unheard in moments of vulnerability
- Walking on eggshells to avoid conflict
- Being blamed for their reactions
- Doubting your own perspective after disagreements
Over time, this can lead to anxiety, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion.
What Can Help
If you are dealing with a relationship involving someone who has some characteristics of a narcissist, some supports can help you:
- Boundaries: Clearly establishing what you are and are not willing to accept.
- Therapy: Working with someone who can help you regain trust in your own perceptions.
- Education: Understanding the characteristics of narcissism so you are not confused.
- Supportive communities: Connecting with others who understand what you are going through.
Healing is not about diagnosing the other person. It’s about taking care of yourself.
How ShareWell Supports Those Affected by Narcissism
We at ShareWell understand the disorienting nature of the experience of narcissism. We are creating a space in which you can share your experiences without the risk of dismissal or minimization.
In our Body Doubling Sessions, you work quietly alongside others. The predictability of the presence of others can help you regain a sense of grounding. Structure provides predictability. Community provides validation.
Healing from the experience of narcissism is not about “proving” what you went through. It is about re-establishing trust in your own voice. If you’d like support in a steady, understanding space, join a peer support group today.
To view our sessions related to narcissism, click here.