I have been in a relationship with my husband for 15 years (married for 5). He is incredibly emotionally absent. He gets very angry if I bring up anything that makes him feel criticized. He will lie, gaslight, stonewall and emotionally punish me. He hasn't physically been intimate with me in years. He has had contact with exes behind my back and has multiple addictions. I have completely lost myself trying to help him and am so tired of begging him to see me and love me. I'm broken and am hoping that connecting with others who have experienced these things will help me start to heal. I know I need to get divorced, but I'm not strong enough yet.